A heart to heart

So I hold a lot of stuff in when Eric is gone. Even stuff that he does that bugs me because I don't want us to fight while we're apart, and I also don't want his mind worrying about me when he has more important things to think about. But finally everything started eating at me and I found that even the little things he did would irritate me. Finally one night he got on chat when he was on watch and we had a heart to heart for a couple of hours. It felt so good to get things off my chest and tell him how I've been feeling. He listened, and reassured me and made me feel so much better. After our chat I feel ready to take on these last few months. I think it's more stressful because a regular deployment would be over right now so we're both just done, heck I've been done since the day before he left.

But all in all we're ready. Ready to get this over with and be a Family. I get really sad thinking about leaving my Parent's. It's so hard to have these mixed emotions. Being with my Parent's, and my friends has been so amazing. Conner loves everyone so much and loves spending time with them. But on the other hand I am totally ready to have my Family together. I dread being back in MS and not having friends again like last year, but after this 10 month deployment I've realized that I don't need anyone down there but my Husband and Son. I'll always have my close friends, and family there for me, even though they're so far away.

I also know I need to step out of my bubble and allow myself to make friends, and stop being so shy. That's half my problem. I just know how fake people are and they are only there when they want to, or need something and I'm sick of being hurt. I throw my heart out on the line and always end up hurt. I just need to be stronger and let go of my fears. As my saying has been lately "I need to man up". Haha.

I am hoping 2011 is the best year yet. 2010 has been a long one. I'm thankful for every experience we've had through this deployment and I'm ready to welcome 2011 with open arms and see what it holds.

Please slap me..

If all my Facebook statues leading up to the few days before come home consist of NOTHING but him coming home. Now I get that it's a happy moment and you are so excited. But posting a status, 10 times a day that say the same thing just in a different way is just not necessary.. Not at all. In fact it's freaking annoying! Now I am probably more annoyed because I am jealous. This battalion left after ours, and is coming home before. So yes I do admit that I am jealous but it's still annoying. I personally couldn't bring myself to say something, although I really wanted to. But her Sister did and it made me laugh.. She said "You know you can use facebook to post about a whole variety of things, right?" It was funny and made me feel better lol

But seriously.. I don't want to be that person. I know I post about Eric and stuff but that's more because he likes seeing my statues and it lets him know we miss him. But ALL of my statues are not about that, or him. They are about all different things. Half the time I don't post statues because I don't have anything to say.

So if I do.. Slap me.. Message me to shut up and stop being annoying like the previous person. Thank you. :)

6 down, 4 to go

FINALLY I can say that we only have 4 months left. It feels like I was saying we had 5 months left FOREVER. Longest month of deployment by far. So now we have hit the regular deployment length. If this were a regular deployment he would be heading home.. Like now, but nope we have 4 more months to go. We can do this. I just hope they fly as fast as these past 6 months have. I can't wait!

Our countdown is broken up by a few things. Eric's Birthday is August 17th. Our 7th Wedding Anniversary is September 6th. October.. Well really only Halloween.. And November is really just Thanksgiving and then our Hero will be home! I can not wait until I am standing there with Conner waiting for those white buses to pull up and telling Conner that DADDY IS HOME! And we'll have 13 months straight with him.

I can't wait to go to sleep next to him and to wake up knowing he's there, even if he's at work. Just to be a Family on the weekend, hanging out and playing with Conner. We plan on taking Conner to do all kinds of things. It's crazy that shortly after Eric gets home (okay well like 6 months lol) Conner will be 3... THREE! That's insane! Where does time go? Wow.

So yeah.. 4 months to go!