It's been a while!

Well here we are going through another deployment. Eric was home for a year. It still amazes me how quickly that year went. We got pregnant (planned), and had a baby and 3 months later he left for another deployment. Luckily this one is much shorter. It was a bit harder seeing him say by to two kids this time around. Conner is older, but still doesn't completely understand it. I was sad that he is missing so much of Carter being a baby, he'll be about 9 months when Eric gets home and Carter turned 3 months shortly after Eric left.

Tomorrow marks a month into this deployment already, which honestly amazes me. The first few weeks were really rough. Dealing with my own sadness, while helping Conner cope with his. Dealing with everyday life and taking on everything that Eric use to help with on my own. We are finally into a routine and all doing much better. I have coped really well with this deployment, really have no other choice. I've been trying to do things to keep Conner busy and help our days go by quicker. We have our good days, and our bad days.

We've been trying to go home to visit, but I just haven't had it in me to want to travel with two kids by myself. A lot of people don't understand because THEY aren't the ones going through it, I am. Dealing with a 3 year old full of energy and a 3 month old who needs me every second. It would be tough. I do want to get home to meet my friends baby, so we'll see. I may just wait until May.

This deployment also seems a bit more tough because of Eric's location. Knowing he is in Afghanistan. It's hard. I try not to think about it to much but it still creeps into my mind. I don't think a lot of people understand how much that makes it tougher. Worrying about his safety. Especially since I don't talk to him everyday, it makes you wonder if he is okay. I felt a lot of support in the beginning, but people have all faded away. People who aren't Military just don't understand that it doesn't get any easier on us, we just learn to manage it better once the newness has worn off. I should be use to it by now, and I don't want peoples pitty but sometimes just knowing someone is thinking of you helps. I see some women post how they get "thinking of you cards" with a little gift just so they know their friends care and are thinking of them. I don't need things, but feeling support would help a lot more. I have found that I have been keeping my emotions bottled up a lot. It makes it harder on me since I end up taking it out on Conner and he doesn't deserve that. It will get better though. I just have to deal with things on my own.

So all in all we are here.. And surviving!