I think Conner is taking all of this then I thought he was. I am sure most of his behavior is normal toddler behavior, but sometimes I wonder if some of it is just underlying sadness that he doesn't know how to express.
He's mean. I know that sounds weird to put it that way but he is so hateful. He gets so upset with you over everything. He loses his cool over everything. He has started hitting and pinching me when he is angry over something or just for no reason. I really want to nip this in the butt before it gets worse. I don't want to get frustrated with him (although I do many times because I am just as sad and upset as he is) because I believe a lot of it is just because he misses his Daddy. Where I miss him, but can express that I do, and Conner doesn't understand his emotions or where Daddy is and why he can only hear him on the phone.
It truly breaks my heart and I just don't know how to address it, or make it better. I am sure over time his pain will ease a little but I guess until then I just have to try not to lose my cool and patience with him, and support him when he is upset. I just hate seeing my little boy feel the way I do. We miss Eric so much and we still have so much more time ahead of us before we see him again.
I'm not sure if we'll be visiting him. He is suppose to go to Africa now so he will be gone from Spain. I'd LOVE to go visit him. The travel would be a pain, and I know all that good bye heart ache will come back as he puts us on the plane but I think it would just help break up deployment a little. I just don't know if it will happen right now.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Forever.
Deployment feels like forever. 10 months...is forever.
Well we've been hanging in there. Eric is doing well in Spain. Says it's a bit weird being there without us since we were all just there together for 3 years (well only with Conner for 6 months lol). He went and got a cell phone so I can text him and he can call me when he can't get to the other phone. Knowing he has it and if I REALLY need him I can call him. Probably cost me an arm and a leg but it's always there.
Conner misses him. He gets excited to talk to him on the phone... He tells him hi. Then I have him say 'love you' and 'miss you' and he kisses him and says bye bye to him. I bet it makes Eric feel awesome just to hear him, especially to say those things. We watch his videos and he sleeps with his bear every night. He doesn't call out for him as much, which makes me feel better because when he did it tore me up. He will once in a while but not as often. He also grabs my phone and kisses his picture. He seems to be handling everything fairly well. He is a bit more angry and throwing a lot more tantrums. I'm not sure if it's the toddler stage or him expressing his anger and sadness of missing Daddy.
Me.. Well I am hanging in there. Things seem a bit more easy now that we are here and I'm not alone. I still do everything for Conner but if I need a few seconds to myself I can usually grab a minute or two. I miss Eric like crazy. I've really realized how much he does for us and how amazing he truly is. Works all day and then comes home and takes care of us. Hearing his voice helps so much though. He comforts me and lets me know things are going to be okay. I have my moments that I just want to break down, and it's hard to go to sleep alone at night but I am holding up a lot better then I was a week ago.
On a brighter note. Conner and I may be flying out to Spain after this summer to visit Eric! We can fly Space A (which is free) and Eric can take a week of leave or whatever and we can stay with him in the Navy Lodge over there. It'll be nice to see him and break up some time. But I am sure it'll be hard to fly out of there. Not to mention an 8 hour flight with a busy 2 year old. But Eric is worth that, and so much more!
Well we've been hanging in there. Eric is doing well in Spain. Says it's a bit weird being there without us since we were all just there together for 3 years (well only with Conner for 6 months lol). He went and got a cell phone so I can text him and he can call me when he can't get to the other phone. Knowing he has it and if I REALLY need him I can call him. Probably cost me an arm and a leg but it's always there.
Conner misses him. He gets excited to talk to him on the phone... He tells him hi. Then I have him say 'love you' and 'miss you' and he kisses him and says bye bye to him. I bet it makes Eric feel awesome just to hear him, especially to say those things. We watch his videos and he sleeps with his bear every night. He doesn't call out for him as much, which makes me feel better because when he did it tore me up. He will once in a while but not as often. He also grabs my phone and kisses his picture. He seems to be handling everything fairly well. He is a bit more angry and throwing a lot more tantrums. I'm not sure if it's the toddler stage or him expressing his anger and sadness of missing Daddy.
Me.. Well I am hanging in there. Things seem a bit more easy now that we are here and I'm not alone. I still do everything for Conner but if I need a few seconds to myself I can usually grab a minute or two. I miss Eric like crazy. I've really realized how much he does for us and how amazing he truly is. Works all day and then comes home and takes care of us. Hearing his voice helps so much though. He comforts me and lets me know things are going to be okay. I have my moments that I just want to break down, and it's hard to go to sleep alone at night but I am holding up a lot better then I was a week ago.
On a brighter note. Conner and I may be flying out to Spain after this summer to visit Eric! We can fly Space A (which is free) and Eric can take a week of leave or whatever and we can stay with him in the Navy Lodge over there. It'll be nice to see him and break up some time. But I am sure it'll be hard to fly out of there. Not to mention an 8 hour flight with a busy 2 year old. But Eric is worth that, and so much more!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
