It's sinking in..

Well the day has come.. Eric leaves bright and early tomorrow morning. I did good all day today but I am having trouble holding it in tonight. Everything he does I know I won't see or hear that for 10 months. Just him giving Conner a bath has just broke my heart... Conner loves him so much and I hate that he won't see him for 10 months. My heart just flat out hurts right now. I can't stop thinking which is what I really need to do and just live in this moment with him. These last few hours are all we have for 10 months. Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am.. But I don't really think I can handle this. I need him. I need him here to lift me up when I'm sad and make me laugh when I'm mad. I need him to sit and watch tv and laugh at stupid thing with me. I need him to watch our Son grow and see what an amazing job we've done as parent's. He's what holds me together and I just know I am going to fall apart when we walk away from each other tomorrow. I know I have to be strong for Conner because he has no idea what's going on and I'm going to do my best but I just don't know if it's possible. I'm hoping this crying that I'm getting out now will help me not cry as much tomorrow.

I guess I just needed to write it out because I'm sick of hearing 'you'll be okay' or 'I've been there before' or 'he'll be home before you know it". Sigh.